Philippine Island Times Adventures of an American expat in the Philippines

August 21, 2008

Advice for moving to the Philippines

Filed under: General — Donald @ 1:23 pm

1. You do not have enough strapping tape.
2. You got more? Lots more? Great. You do not have enough strapping tape.
3. You counted boxes, measured the dimensions of each, and got twice as much as you calculate you need? Should have done that the first time, Homer, but better late than never. Oh, and you do not have enough strapping tape.
4. You just spent an additional $100 buying every large roll of strapping tape in stock at the store? Ok, now you have enough.
5. Your strapping tape sucks. It is the kind that always tears along the axis filaments, twists on itself, and forces you to fling huge sticky balls of it at everything in sight. Did you buy it at Wal-mart? Of course Walmart strapping tape sucks. Oh, I see, you bought it at the UPS Store. UPS Store strapping tape sucks. It does come in large sticky rolls though.
6. You are in hell. To escape you must 1) admit that you are in hell 2) admit that you will do anything to escape and 3) start completely over and buy at least five times as much as you calculate you will need of Scotch Extreme Application Packaging Tape. You must buy exactly this tape. Working with this tape will calm you down more than a triple bourbon. Yes, 100 proof single cask, not 80 proof ragwater. Trust me on this. I know tape and strong drink.

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